Change for the better

I've always wanted a challenging life. When I say challenging, it's in a positive way, not negative. Well, you can say that I'm a psychotic or what, but actually, I love leading a busy life. Honestly, I don't like it when I don't have anything to do or if my life is in slow-pace mode.

I really like fast-paced life. I don't know why. Maybe because this kind of life makes me more disciplined, time conscious, and blah blah blah. hahahaha....let me go straight to the point.

Actually, I feel like my life in these recent 2 years has been a bit boring. Yes, it is challenging but only academically. And I'm supposed to be busy reading and writing and researching but I'm not! Somehow, day by day, I'm getting bored and my motivation has declined.

Then, I thought to myself. "Maybe it's time for a change!"

"Change for the better, Aziemah!"

There, I remembered what that person told me. But I was too afraid to do the changes. Because the changes that I wanted were beyond my imagination. hurmn

I remembered when I was in form 1. I was admitted to a semi-boarding school. That school was a famous school in my province. It can be said that everyone in my class of standard 6 wanted to go there. So, I was a successful candidate and there I registered for the school.

That was my first time staying at a hostel, away from home. The distance was only half an hour but I had to stay at the hostel because no one would be sending me to the school. However, on the first day I already had headache and fever. Then, I was too weak that I didn't tidy up my bed. As a result, I was scolded by a senior. She didn't know that I was weak. Being a twelve-year old, I could only cry after that.

Day by day, I got stressed out when there was always no water at the hostel and I got a rash skin. I was also stressed with seniors who thought they were the best at everything. whatever. If only I could shout at them, "Don't think you're such a goddess!"

Then, my health began to deteriorate. It was so bad. For countless times, I asked my mom to transfer me to another school but she refused. I had to stay. Though the hostel was bad, the school was excellent. I loved the school and the teachers so much but I just couldn't bear with the hostel. Every week I would have fever or headaches.

One weekend, I was sleeping because I was having fever. Then, my mom came visiting me. She asked:

"Do you really want to go away from here? Won't you feel any regret later?"

"Yes! Definitely yes!"

I didn't have to say more. My situation just proved that I really wanted to go away. That very week, I was transferred to a normal school near my house. I was placed in the second class, but I didn't mind because students in the first class must stay at the hostel. At that time, I was so phobic to staying at hostel. urgh!

Although my new school was not a semi-boarding school, I was so happy there. I could study peacefully and not having rash anymore. I also became top students there.

See, sometimes we have to change for the better. Sometimes, what we think is good for us may not necessarily be good to us. We just have to experiment it. If the change is a failure, it's okay. We can always go for the next plan. What's important is we have to get out from our comfortable zone!

Very well.

Actually, I'm considering of a big change ahead. I don't know if I can make it as I made it during my secondary school, but I just think that I need this, even though it may risk something that is worth my time and every penny that I spent.

I've been thinking for almost 6 months and now, I'm so determined to carry out my plan. I just hope everything will go smoothly and no regrets ahead.

What change is it? I will tell you when I have succeeded. For now, I'd better remain silent.