Sunday, July 14, 2013

i'm just disappointed

it would be a lie if i said i'm okay with everything that just happened

a strong denial is just an affirmation

truthfully, everything swirls in my mind
i'm sad, mad, unhappy, upset
most of all
i'm so disappointed

there's no need for me to describe what just happened
just enough to say
everyone in the world
will go through a time,
that they become disappointed with what they had been putting hopes for
at least, in my case
it wasn't me who put that hope
but that person who raised the hope and just left when i've raised it high

what goes up must come down
that's what Alicia Keys sings
yeah, true enough Alicia
nothing remains high up there
eventually they will come down

just like my spirit right now
it's enough to say that I feel like such an idiot
such idiot that i've never imagined
such a thing that i've been criticising
is now happening to me

never, trust anyone,
that's my advice
nothing serious happened
but being me
such a little thing means a chaos in my life
being such a perfectionist, though not really perfectionist
i hate when something messes up my life

 i just hope that life will get better
i will look for the rainbow after this storm
though i don't know when the rainbow will appear
i'll try hard to get on my feet
and search for that rainbow

i was waiting on a different story
this time i'm mistaken, 
for handing you a heart worth breaking,
and i've been wrong
Nickelback sings and that just suits my situation right now

i just hope right now
someone would ask me, kenchana?
korean for are you okay?
not just anyone, but that someone
but you know, it will never happen
because i'm waiting on a different story

let's hope that this will be my step stone towards a better life
though i'm still weak to face whatever to come
sometimes tear fills up my eyes
and i cry hard
not because i'm frustrated but i feel so stupid
yes,, very stupid
i have to get a grip of myself
if you're in the same boat as I am
let's tell ourselves
if it's not me to help myself to get up, then who would?
everyone has their life
so we should stand up for our own life too


Tuesday, July 9, 2013

is it over?

such a little thing
is so powerful
to ruin everything

such a little thing
has been tearing up my heart
and has set us apart

are you giving up
because of such a little thing?

are you mad over
such a little thing?

you leave me with no clue
you just go away like that
like it is my fault
like I am to be blamed
for such a little thing

while I don't even know
what happened
or what's happening
it seems like
I'm on the dark side

you can put the blame on me
but I know
I'm not wrong
because I know nothing

it hurts
deep inside
such a pain to bear
such a torture to face

never in my life
had I imagined
that I'll be blamed
over such a little thing
that I'll be trapped
like an idiot
who has no clue
of what's going on

I've been living my life to the fullest
until I met you
I put aside everything
I put aside all negative thoughts
I rejected someone's proposal
just because of you

everything seems useless now
though it still hurts
really deep inside my heart
I'll take that blame
and bring it far
I will never forget this day
because for such a little thing
it's enough to show everything

I know everything is still blurry
because I still know nothing
but I'll brace myself
and face it

it really hurts
such a torture
such a pain
that can leave me in a drain

-Aziemah Gekozen, 2013-
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