i'm just disappointed

it would be a lie if i said i'm okay with everything that just happened

a strong denial is just an affirmation

truthfully, everything swirls in my mind

i'm sad, mad, unhappy, upset

most of all

i'm so disappointed

there's no need for me to describe what just happened

just enough to say

everyone in the world

will go through a time,
that they become disappointed with what they had been putting hopes for

at least, in my case

it wasn't me who put that hope

but that person who raised the hope and just left when i've raised it high

what goes up must come down

that's what Alicia Keys sings

yeah, true enough Alicia

nothing remains high up there

eventually they will come down

just like my spirit right now

it's enough to say that I feel like such an idiot

such idiot that i've never imagined

such a thing that i've been criticising

is now happening to me

never, trust anyone,

that's my advice

nothing serious happened

but being me

such a little thing means a chaos in my life

being such a perfectionist, though not really perfectionist

i hate when something messes up my life

 i just hope that life will get better

i will look for the rainbow after this storm

though i don't know when the rainbow will appear

i'll try hard to get on my feet

and search for that rainbow

i was waiting on a different story

this time i'm mistaken, 

for handing you a heart worth breaking,

and i've been wrong

Nickelback sings and that just suits my situation right now

i just hope right now

someone would ask me, kenchana?

korean for are you okay?

not just anyone, but that someone

but you know, it will never happen

because i'm waiting on a different story

let's hope that this will be my step stone towards a better life

though i'm still weak to face whatever to come

sometimes tear fills up my eyes

and i cry hard

not because i'm frustrated but i feel so stupid

yes, stupid...so, very stupid

i have to get a grip of myself

if you're in the same boat as I am

let's tell ourselves

if it's not me to help myself to get up, then who would?

everyone has their life

so we should stand up for our own life too

 

 

is it over?

such a little thing

is so powerful

to ruin everything

such a little thing

has been tearing up my heart

and has set us apart

are you giving up

because of such a little thing?

are you mad over

such a little thing?

you leave me with no clue

you just go away like that

like it is my fault

like I am to be blamed

for such a little thing

while I don't even know

what happened

or what's happening

it seems like

I'm on the dark side

fine

you can put the blame on me

but I know

I'm not wrong

because I know nothing

it hurts

really

deep inside

such a pain to bear

such a torture to face

never in my life

had I imagined

that I'll be blamed

over such a little thing

that I'll be trapped

like an idiot

who has no clue

of what's going on

I've been living my life to the fullest

until I met you

I put aside everything

I put aside all negative thoughts

even

I rejected someone's proposal

just because of you

alas!

everything seems useless now

though it still hurts

really deep inside my heart

I'll take that blame

and bring it far

I will never forget this day

no

because for such a little thing

it's enough to show everything

I know everything is still blurry

because I still know nothing

but I'll brace myself

and face it

it really hurts

such a torture

such a pain

that can leave me in a drain

-Aziemah Gekozen, 2013-