it had been my dream...

Since I was a little girl, I had always dreamed of being a teacher.

Yep, my ambition since I was a little girl was to be a TEACHER.

After sitting for SPM, I started to apply for institutions that will let me to become a teacher.

BUT I was so unfortunate that I didn't get any reply from them...

Well, life must go on...

So, I decided to go for a matriculation college thinking that it was a platform for me to apply for a degree in education, later on.

Then again, after completing my pre-university, I continued with my plan...

That time, I was so confident that my dream will finally come true when I was called for a test before an interview....

BUT again, I was not called for any interview.

Then, I knew, I failed again....did I do bad in the test?

Well, I don't know...maybe yes, maybe not.

Then, I sadly moved on to a course in Linguistic (English) since I was interested to be an English teacher...

Being in this course, slowly my interest to be a teacher had decreased.

Suddenly I felt that this course was very good for me....

since suddenly my interest grew deeper into translation and editing.

One fine day, I applied for a young lecturer scheme by chance...

and I was called for an interview.

This was what I dreamed of! I told myself...

BUT it was weird because my heart was not excited at all.

I went to the interview half-heartedly, knowing that my interest had changed...

I didn't expect anything good from the interview because

I HATE INTERVIEWS!

But it didn't mean that I didn't want to know the result and

I just wanted to know if I did well even if I failed to get it....

well, this thing, not all people can understand how I felt....

and rumour has it that I failed, AGAIN...and that was not the thing that bothered me...

well, just as I said, not everyone could understand even if I explained...

after quite a long time, I could get over my depression state and I started to accept that TEACHING is not for me.

yep...one lecturer once said to me, straight into my face:

"Are you sure you want to be a lecturer? You don't have the criteria, you know..."

She asked me the same thing many times, over and over again, that one day I answered:

"Yes, I know..."

That kept her silent after that....

BUT I kept thinking of her words...she is right!

I'm an introvert person. I only love to write but I don't really like to speak...especially teach...hermn...

Now, I must thank her though I was hurt. Why? She was true after all.

Teaching is not for me, at least for now...